Wednesday, September 1, 2010

More Stomach Churning

I've been having weird stuff going on with my digestive system for quite some time.  Blood in my stools on occasion, which, I believe, constipation and a hemorrhoid account for.  Late night acid reflux - sometimes so painful that 8 Tums don't make a difference.  An MD friend says it could be due to exhaustion.  Difficulty urinating; I really have to focus to make it come out.  Is my UTI really gone, or should I see the PA again? Is it from all those Kegels I do to help pleasure my husband during love making? During a vaginal exam while I was pregnant with our second child, the midwife asked me to do a Kegel while her finger was inserted.  I guess to test the strength...?  She was like, "Woah!  Pretty good."

My taste buds are starting to rebel on me.  Things I usually enjoy have bad aftertastes, or my body rejects them as too rich or greasy after just a few bites.

And now there's more to make me feel sick to my stomach.

I had searched on "sexual abuse survivor blog" to find other blogs by survivors.  But there seems to be only a handful out there.  So I decided to change the wording to get different results.  I tried "sex abuse" and Google returned many results on sex abuse by Catholic Priests.  A few were blogs, but I had to be a member to comment.  Next, "incest blog."  The results were downright shameful and disgusting.  I didn't click on any of the links since they sounded so illicit; and I hope they are monitored by the FBI.  But I was freakin' appalled.

"hot family porn"
"incest sex pictures"
"incest porn blog... incest relationships... of real kinky families"

I hope they are all FBI stings and a bunch of perverted fux get locked up.  I know we live in a capitalist country, but money making should never cross this line.  People want to make money off of $hit that hurts so many people so very deeply?  They can never attempt to claim that it's not any worse than other illegal income, like selling drugs.  No, this IS different; and if there's a hell, I hope they go straight to it.  It truly made me feel sick.

I guess if you look for something online, you never know what you will find.  If you know of any good survivor blogs, please let me know.  Thanks.